Different

"At a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are, especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, but I AM this person, and in that statement there will be a kind of love". - From Pheobe in Wonderland

I remembered a story today I had buried. When I was still a boy in my understanding of the world, I bought a sophisticated and beautiful thing. It fit like it was made for me, dark grey with the small red stripe of the prada logo... on my square cut swimming suit. I was questioned for spending money on such a thing, laughed at for being different than my suburban friends, ridiculed because boys do not wear anything so short. It was the perfect swimming suit and if I'd not thrown away the valuable item out of shame, I'd have worn it for many seasons of sunny weather.

This was a turning point in my life for bad. Now, many years later, I can articulate that I my version of appropriate and inappropriate are different than the good ol American way of gregarious boys with over developed modesty. I am not the type to obnoxiously belly flop in board shorts. I am the type to lounge in sexy square cuts. I am unafraid of my body and aware of those around me at the same time. It is time to end fitting into the passive aggressive culture around me that rewards foolishness and prudishness and be direct about who I am and what I believe in, namely that intellect is valuable and community respect is vital.

Thank you.