Energy Infinite?

For me, energy goes in seasons. The energy bill for my lovely drafty apartment skyrockets in the winter to crash in the summer as energetic breezes do the work of too many air conditioners. Issues regarding energy, like sourcing and efficiency, go in waves of interest as I see a startling new statistic or angle on the crisis that sparks my passion, before that passion ebbs away to another flow. The ocean's ebbs and flows hold a similar interest in the daily cycle that is a reflection of the relationship with the moon. They wrestle a strong mutual attraction, distant but always connected.

I think my own energy level follows these seasonal, periodic and daily cycles. I often wonder if I am a product of my environment, adapting to the constance of change in each fresh season. I wonder if I am myself an interesting topic like energy, but one that can hold my obsessive passion for only a time. Am I only comfortable with myself between the external energy boost of strong initiatives and the energy blackouts I wallow in, a lifeless indulgence in unwanted inactivity? And then I wonder, am I an ocean looking for a moon to guide it. If God is the infinite and I am the relative spec of ocean on a small globe, wouldn't he design for me a man in the moon to stay in relationship with? I'm fine with sharing that moon with the fields and hills and children dreaming from their windows. I'm happy that the man of my moon would see the all of me as he circles around. I'm even glad for the cycles of the moon itself, the changing personality it does, and he might, hold.

Maybe energy is not supposed to be generated by our own bootstraps. Maybe instead my energy level should adjust for seasons, build in balances for periodic cycles and then, most importantly, have my own man in the moon to help those daily cycles of energy have something, someone, to pull closer, gaze on and smile.