Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sleep

The end of the day is when my best ideas come, mixed with huge guilt for staying up late to pursue them and risking a later start to the next day. Usually the ideas are good and the only reason I should get up at a certain time is, well, to go sit at a desk alone. So my bipolar brain, that reasons based on abstract rational rather than literal expediency, judges that staying up productively is better than waking up for mere logistics.

The second, larger issue is that I'm lonely at night. When I was dating Mik, we talked every night as I went to sleep... it was so wonderful. I looked forward to having someone talk to me at the end of the day and listen in return. It pulled me away from this computer that so dominates my life. It lulled me into sleep feeling like I was not alone and that the next day could be great. Now I'm single again and what I miss most is that end of the night ritual. It was a nighttime ritual that does not consist of artificial fillers like wine or tv, nor was it arbitrary regiment like reading 20 pages in X book.

My best days begin and end with people.

How do I find my next end-of-the-night phone call? Ideas on how a chronic insomniac who cannot function without 8 hours of sleep can create a healthy nights end ritual? Am I alone in this?

1 comment:

Rachael said...

You and Paul have more in common than you think. For some reason he has a hard time with sleep as well...